Getting Your Needs Met As a Parent

It feels like one of the main responsibilities of being a parent is making sure everyone else’s needs are being met, from your partner to your children to the family pet. This often means that your personal needs get shoved to the back burner and neglected. However, your needs as a parent are as important as everyone else’s because when you are healthy and happy you are a better parent. So how do you prioritize and meet your own needs?

1. Believe it. First you must believe that your needs are equally important. Create a mantra to support this belief.

2. Schedule time for yourself in your day-to-day or weekly routine. Get it on the calendar .

3. Create and practice a daily self-care routine that includes quality sleep, eating healthy, exercise/hobby, and a gratitude journal.

4. Make a list of activities that fuel your tank. Then include these activities regularly in your routine.

5. Communicate your needs to your family. This way they are given an opportunity to support and help you achieve those needs.

Now, life would not be life without a few obstacles and challenges that get in the way of your needs as parents. Sometimes there is an inner struggle where you maybe can’t see your own value or are wrestling with that inner critic that makes you feel less confident and sure of yourself. Other times life presents lots of distractions and you may lose focus on what you are really needing to feel well cared for and happy. Then there are the moments when the needs of your partner or children do take priority over your needs, like when a child is ill. What do you do when these challenges or obstacles arise?

1. Remind yourself that these moments are temporary.

2. Get additional support from a friend, family member or professional.

3. Create daily affirmations to say to yourself and create a more positive inner dialogue. 

4. Include small gestures of self-care like self-hugs, 10 deep breaths, a five-minute compassion meditation, eating a favorite meal or taking a hot bath.

5. Every once a while, take a day and just make it about you and no one else. The only person you need to please that day is yourself.

Meeting your own needs and those of your family do not have to be in constant conflict or competition for your attention. Think of all these needs like a dance, and once you figure out the dance steps, you can better flow and find your rhythm. Now, like with anything, the dance may shift here and there, but with practice you will gain confidence in your skills to navigate these changes.

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