What Is a Good Parent?

Do you ever ask yourself, Am I a good parent? If your child is unhappy, hurt, sick, or struggling with a problem, it can easily create doubt and feelings of inadequacy in your parenting skills. So what does it really mean to be a good parent?  

Parenting is not a one-size-fits-all. Every parent is unique in their skills, personality, family values, and life experiences. All of these traits shape how we decide to parent our children. The personality of your children can also play a role in how you choose to parent. However, parents are  expected to provide basic fundamental needs to their children in our culture, which include: 

๏ Protection from any physical, emotional, or mental harm 

๏ Clothing  

๏ Food 

๏ Clean drinking water 

๏ Shelter  

๏ Medical care  

๏ Education  

When basic needs are provided for the child, they can survive, but in order to really thrive, a child also needs: 

๏ Regular displays of love and affection: When a child receives hugs, kisses, snuggles, and positive loving communication (“I love you”), it helps proper brain development, stress management, and improved social skills. 

๏ Emotional support: A child needs adults and friends who provide support and love when they need it. 

๏ Structure and consistency: A child needs a regular routine and consistent reinforcement of healthy boundaries and rules. 

๏ Positive role models: A child needs older children and adults who have a positive influence on them. Children learn by mimicking the behavior of those around them. 

Providing for your children means you are being the best parent you know how to be. How you go about providing these needs can vary. Providing food is a great example. Food sources include gardens, grocery stores, hunting and fishing, restaurants, school cafeterias, friends, family, food pantries, and farmer’s markets. Parents usually use a combination of these sources to provide food for their children. The manner in which children’s needs are meant, like food, in this case, is where your uniqueness as parents really gets put on display.  

So, what happens when things out of your control create situations where you can’t provide something for your children? Does this mean you suddenly turn into a bad parent? No. It means that a lot of things in life are out of your control, and sometimes you are challenged as a parent. You problem-solve and ask for help and support when you need it. You focus on the solutions and opportunities versus emotionally beating yourself up. This is how you help your children in those situations. 

So, back to the question of what is a good parent? Culturally meeting the above needs of your children is how we attempt to be good parents. Every day you show up and devote yourself to providing for your children the best way you know how. This is how you be a good parent.  

Being the best parent you can be and carrying that kind of responsibility can feel a bit heavy and overwhelming. Here are some tips to help you when you are feeling the heavy lifting of parenting. 

๏ You do not have to be perfect. Aim to be the best version of yourself. 

๏ Parenting is a 24/7 job and requires a good support team, especially when you need a break.

๏ Be honest when you do not know something, and be willing to find the answer. 

๏ You will make lots of mistakes. Parenting is ripe with opportunities to learn humility and the skill of making a really good apology.  

๏ Being a parent requires resilience, bravery, and humor.  

Being a “good” parent is not a title anyone receives—it is more of an act you repeat every moment of every day as a parent. It is the accumulation of all of those choices that creates the type of parent you are to your children. What kind of parent do you want to be for your children?